The truly sad thing is I’m not joking, and I’m skipping a pile of steps since I’m writing this half asleep. (Who could write such nonsense awake? Oh, right, the Process Analyst!)
Question: Can you just change the toilet paper?
.. consider the risk involved in changing it, and in running out
.. look up in asset catalogue to find the service dept owner
.. open ticket to SVD to investigate options
.. open up a subcomittee to review options for avoiding this in the future
.. service dept does a ROM to discuss overall costs and strategy; do we need an architect or integrator?
.. integrator notes all toilet paper rolls are the same, so screw off
.. business analyst writes 30 page essay; some is fluffier or has more weave! Business analyst is a poop subject matter expert.
.. What SVDs for design and implementation
.. contact finance to determine costs, and open up cost centre for SVDs
.. an EDD (External Design) to publish how it will look after being replaced
.. user committee signs off on approach
.. users select a team for testing poop for signoff and for outage window
.. IDD (Internal Design) is created to detail the procedure
.. SID is created so maintenance SVD can perform maintenance
.. An update is scheduled, and risk of downtime is published
.. Risk avoidance team document what to do should an issue occur during outage window
.. First responders document process for dispatching support calls to SVD should a call occur
.. During outage window, toiulet paper falls to floor — abort and reschedule, or continue? Page house owner for advice, and consult outage
window constraints.
.. Replace toilet paper
.. Post mortem — what did we learn? what can we do better?
.. Update metrics so we can try for faster response next time
.. Update asset database; minus one toilet paper roll
.. Document for future implementations; future generations need to know how to do this!
Word of the day: Upgrage!
